Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Trent tried some ahi poke, which he suprisingly liked! I cannot do raw fish. He, evidently likes at least that kind! Ewwww. But good for him. Just makes it that much easier for him. That stuff is at every single cookout ever! I tried Mahi mahi, which I actually liked too! Julia likes fish anyway, so that was a given. But it wasn't bad, even just plain with some soy. I think I would like it much better with some other flavors, like a fruit salsa.
The surf was pretty rough. I have never been to this beach before. But it was nice. The kids got in some big floaty chairs and had a blast! Trent got tossed in the surf a few times, which was funny. he was having such a good time.
Speaking of Trent..... I am realizing HOW much I coddle him. I knew he was a mama's boy. I know I am a bit overbearing. Yeah yeah, spare me. I have 2 kids. I can't have anymore. Kids aren't replaceable and I want to make sure that mine are safe and happy. But in the meantime, I have made Trent a whiney quitter. I am so worried he is going to drown at the beach. Yes, it happens all the time. I know he's never going to learn to swim unless he does it, but I don't want him to get hurt. I"ve really had to take a step back. Sometimes to the point of letting lindsey or alisa watch him and I either bury my head in a book or keep my back to him because I worry so much! Julia is so independent. Even as a baby, she really didn't need me much. She always wanted to dissapear and play on her own in a corner somewhere. at our house in Louisiana, she has a walk-in closet that she turned into a girl cave! Filled it with stuffed animals, blankets, pillows, dolls, and books. If I couldn't find her, she was in there. But Trent, he needs the interaction, the attention, the affection. guess he's more like me and Julia is more like Luke.
At karate, Trent cried and bawled and gave up. Sense was trying to get him to do it right. He wasn't getting it, got indignant, and shut down. He started crying, then bawling. The guy didn't give in to it, which Trent needs. Thank goodness Conrad and Alisa were there to distract me! It was hard listening to him so upset and begging to go home. He needs to learn that if he just follows directions, he will be great. And crying doesn't get you out of doing what you need to do. He wanted to do karate, he's going to do it! Made me feel better that everyone said most all the little kids that do karate there cry at some point!
Pretty much, it comes down to me needing to let go a little. Let him be a boy. Let him grow up. Let him fall a few times. Julia, on the other hand, ROCKED IT! She did so well. She is so mature in some ways. And taking criticism (from someone not related to her ;)) well is something that she is learning. Sense showed her, made her do it again and again, and she did SO well. The adults in the class all commented on how well she was doing and how quickly she was picking it up.
Ok, so much for having nothing to say huh! Maybe someday soon, this blog will get back to being about photography. Maybe that should be on my agenda tomorrow. Grab the camera and go out. It's hard when the sunlight is SO harsh all day. Maybe there will be a few more clouds or maybe I should just shoot some high key stuff... No excuses eh?
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
I am seeing a therapist here to try to help me get myself squared away. Over the years, I have become someone I don't like anymore. I have lost my passion and have become a very negative person. And I am done with that! I need to be happy. Not blaming Luke, I am solely responsible for the choices I have made and the path I have taken.
So now that THAT'S done...! I am sitting in Starbucks looking fruitlessly for a job. I have been looking for WEEKS. I am getting very discouraged. Turns out that stay at home moms are not in high demand. And 10 years of verylittle working has done me more harm than I thought. Makes me sad. My kids are better off for it, I know that. Just is hard to swallow. I am smart, I am good at everything I have ever done. EVERYTHING. I have never failed at a job. Just wish I could get someone to believe that and PAY ME!
I really need to get my camera out, I haven't touched it since I've been here. BAD me. BAD BAD ME! Hopefully that will be part of the outcome of therapy. getting some of my creativity back. I miss it. I miss the fire in my gut that makes me stop on the side of the road to shoot something. That makes me RUSH home to grab my camera to capture the light. I need that back in my life. I'm pursuing it.
Also am pursuing a good tan ;) My sister (who is so freaking brown it makes me sick) commented last night on how my tan was coming along. That was nice! It's nice not being pasty. Not that I will ever become a sun worshipper, but it's so good feeling the warmth on my skin as I lay in the sand. And it's nice not sticking out like a tourist fresh off the plane, although I am sure I will for quite some time, if not forever. Haole is as haole does.
Done for now, will try to be better at bloggins, especially since I have so much free time right now ;/ Kids are in a summer program. Lindsey tells me to explore. I just want to explore a paycheck!
Monday, June 14, 2010
I sat under the tent or layed in the sun on a towel and read a novel, start to finish. Called Good in Bed. Written by the same lady that wrote In Her Shoes. Very good read. About a fat girl that breaks up with her boyfriend, struggles with her weight, ends up pregnant, becomes BFF's with a super famous actress, sells a screen play, falls in love with a doctor who loves her even though she's fat. So this book really spoke to me right now, the whole fat girl thing anyway. Don't plan on getting famous or pregnant ;).
Got a little bit of a sunburn, not too bad considering I didn't wear sunscreen again. I really tried hard to flip every few minutes (when my body started getting hot) and stayed in the shade most of the day. We got there at 9:30 and left at like 6:00! It was a crazy long day. I never ate! I was so into the book. The kids, however, had a blast. Spent most of the day in the water. Trent made a little friend, which was GREAT! But what wasn't great was the sunburn they got on their faces. Trent got a blister on his ear and Julia got blisters on her nose. I feel like SUCH a bad mom. While they got sunscreen reapplied to their bodies, I forgot about their faces. I HATE when they get hurt. I always take it as a failure on my part as a mom, like I am an unfit mom because they got a sunburn. A little unreasonable, I know. But as a mom, (and you reading this are mostly moms) you feel responsible for everything and hate to know your kids are hurting and you could have revented it. So enough about that.....
Julia was over playing in the water alone (since trent was with the boys and Jackie and the girls left early) so she crawled into a beach chair, put a towel over her completely except her face, and fell asleep. For LIKE AN HOUR! I finally woke her up and made her come into the shade and drink some water. She then went back to sleep for another good half hour. Trent, on the other hand, only came back for food or when required. He took his rash guard off, then went back on the boogie board for like 2 hours. That was a bad idea. He came back for more sunscreen and had a HUGE rash all over his bely. Lindsey sprayed him down with sunscreen and he SCREAMED and cried. Poor guy. On one hand, I was like "well, if you had left your rash guard on while you used the boogie board..." but I really felt bad for him cause I know that hurt!
Ok, enough of the play by play! We had a good time. It was a nice break from reality. Cause reality was rough that night, just sayin. Things have to get worse before they get better right? Feeling really really confused after a period of extreme clarity. I felt so sure for a day or two, now I am back to confused. Stupid emotions. Whoever invented them was obviously not a debater. It would be much better if my rational mind was allowed free reign.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I sat and had a good cry with Lindsey last night, thanks sis. Sometimes you just can't hold it in anymore. Or you don't even realize you are holding it in. You just open your mouth and everything comes out. Things you didn't even know you were feeling. It's kinda scary. Cause once you say it, you're like DAMN. where did that come from?
My best friend in the whole wide world has been noticably absent, he is going through some stuff right now too and is focusing on that. It's hard to feel like you are drifting farther away from the people who matter most to you. I've been really bad lately about just shutting people off. So for those of you I've done that to, I'm sorry. Kinda hard to have friends when you don't really want to talk to anyone cause you don't know what to say.
So I am trying to not be a debbie downer. I am trying to not burden everyone else with my problems. I know, that's what friends are for. But there is only so much negative your friends can handle before they don't want to be around you anymore. So I am trying to reserve my bitching! Right now I am just trying to enjoy time with my sister and my kids. Hopefully the weather will be nicer this weekend. While it's not cold or consistently raining, it is super windy.
I need to get my camera out and start using it. Just really feel incredibly uninspired. Maybe soon. I'll try to be better about posting, although most people visit this blog for scrappy purposes. I didn't bring any scrapbooking stuff with me at all this summer. Yep, DEPRESSING. but I was packing a ton of bags anyway and really didn't feel up to scrapping, so why go through the hassle of bringing stuff with me, just to have it sit and take up space where there really isn't any.
Hasta for now.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The kids and I are in Kauai staying with my sister. Yes, I have been intentionally vague and will remain that way until such a time when I feel like I need to say something. So for now, we are here. We got here last wednesday, coming up on one week. It's been fabulous the whole time. Avoiding major sunburns so far, only tiny ones where sunscreen application has been funky.
Got to go out on Lindsey and Alisa's 2 man OC for the first time. Just went out a little ways in the bay, it was fun. A little scarey. You always feel like you are going to flip over. I have retarded shoulders, so paddling for me can be rough. But I had a good time, sucked a little bit of air.
So just looking for a job. No luck so far. Never have had such a hard time finding gainful employment. Usually, I get the job I want. So this is a bit different for me. In a week, I have had no real prospects. Thought I may have a job at a bakery, but don't think that is going to work out. Guess the people applying for a job just outnumber those of us looking. Maybe I just need to give it more than a week...
Well, I guess that's it for now. Coming up on my Dirty Thirty at the end of the month. Feel a little torn about that. Not going to be with MY friends to celebrate, which sucks. I want to do something FUN. Kick off my thirties with a bang. But I have family, so we'll see what we end up doing.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Thanks for looking. I enjoy sharing with you all.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Ok. well, that's about it for now. I do have some photos to share, of course and later this week will have another post sharing some photos I took on a little swamp excursion Trent and I took. Things have been a little hectic around here as of late. Some personal stuff going on, that always complicates things. And the end of school, and the kids and I are heading off for Kauai again. can't wait. I'll try to be a little better about posting, heavens knows I am not scrapping. Trying to make plenty of pictures before I leave Louisiana.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
I had a whole big post typed out, then decided now is a good time to use my filter, what little I have. While I want to share, I don't know that I want to share that much with so many. It is the internet, once you post it, you cant take it back.
I did scrap today, I will post that sometime soon. Just need to shoot it. Feeling a bit BLAH right now, no telling what those photos would look like. Off to the end of the driveway to check the mail. Tomorrow is the kids' field day and I have to attend. Not happy about that because I was supposed to be working. oh well, I really didn't want to have to miss it, just don't like being told by the teacher that I need to be there. Don't they know that people have jobs? Really. Guess I am just on one today, maybe that is the problem!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
I keep going to sit down at my craft desk, but there is either limited mojo, or too mmuch that needs to get done. I applaud you working moms who keep a clean house and still have time to craft. I just don't have the time management skills or energy to do it.
Working has been a very good thing for me. I have made a new friend. I have met new people who, although I don't see myself hanging out with, have made my day a bit brighter and more fun. I am useful again, for something other than housework and babysitting. I know, I know, it's an important job, blah blah blah. But when i tell people I am a stay at home mom, they look at me like "oh, wow. so you aren't smart enough or ambitious enough to have a real job." the conversation slows, like i wouldnt be able to hold my own because i take care of my kids. If you aren't a SAHM, you can't possibly understand. Just trust me when I say that it's not a good feeling.
It's been nice to earn a little money in my own name for once. Not that I make enough to make a dent, but enough to feel like my days have been of use. My first pay check I took out, bought groceries, a birthday gift, and some stuff at sams club and came home with $60. A whole weeks work, chaos at home, and I made grocery money! but in the grand scheme of things, we all have to eat right.
So consider this my salute to you women who work full time jobs. It's difficult, and I am looking forward to going back to simpler times. being able to just pick up and meet luke for lunch, going to the school for things like eater egg hunts and christmas parties... I am going to miss the kids' field day later this week and that makes me sad. very sad. But it's worth an extra couple hundred bucks if it's the only chance I have to make it for a long time.
Well, all things considered, it's been a good experience. got me out, got me moving, made me realize that although my situation isn't ideal, it could be much worse. I do need a vacation from my kids. I haven't been without them for longer than they are in school since last june when i came down here to look at houses with luke. we need another getaway. I NEED ANOTHER GETAWAY! when we lived in Wyoming, I got to go to Salt Lake once a month and got out of the house for at least 18-36 hours. I miss that very much. I miss my sanity breaks.
Maybe again someday. Maybe I can talk luke into letting me take a solo road trip around the south soon for photos and junking.
Will try to play again soon, I was doing so good with this blog for a long time, and now I am a bad bad blogger. Remind me, i'll try!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Other things of significance in my life... Luke blew out his knee once and for all. We already knew he would need surgery, but it looks as if the time has come. He has been off work several days now and his boss said don't come back till it's fixed. That has left me scrambling for a job. I have appointments with temp agencies monday. Pray for our marriage. With Luke at home, things will be rough for a spell. We've been through rough patches before, but this will rival them. Luke with no income and at home all day is more than he can handle. Guess we will see how the cards fall. I will have to just get some pretty thick skin.
Well, that's it for tonight. See everyone later! Sooner than later I hope!
Monday, March 8, 2010
I used a bunch of Sassafras (my FAVORITE!) Hog Heaven stuff I had left over, Prima flowers and E-line gems/pearls, a Maya Road branch, and a piece of Jenni Bowlin music paper, and some glimmer mist, of course! From the Trigger, I just really loved the candy pink and that's what really stuck with me!
I also decided why not kill 2 birds with 1 stone. So Becky Fleck is having a Sassafrass Nerdy Bird (which I MUST have and have already ordered some of it) contest over at the Page Maps Blog. I liked the sketch, so I molested it and here ya go!
And these are just some random junk jewlery pieces I found at the flea market yesterday! That broach is missing the center, so I figured I would doctor it up! And I found a meat picket! Luke had no idea what it was! So funny! And that heart has a mermaid riding a seahorse! SO COOL!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wake up at like noon. Power is out. Awesome. Our power goes out at least 2 or 3 times a month out here. I have never lived somewhere with such unreliable service. Power comes back on. I lay in bed for another half an hour, trying to get up the energy to get up. I let the dogs out to pee. Next, I go into the bathroom to take a shower. Turn the water on to warm up and start brushing my teeth. Power goes back off. Water shuts off. Awesome. cause when you live in the country and have a well, no power means no water and you are thrust back into 1880. Awesome.
I go back and sit on the bed and pet the cats. Power comes back on. I turn the water on and jump in as fast as I can. Carefully washing as fast as I can ONLY one part at a time. I have a gallon of water on the counter just in case. I get through my entire body and get done. I stay in and try to warm up, when the phone rings. Awesome. I am always afraid that if I don't answer the phone, it is going to be the school telling me I need to come get one of the kids or Luke saying he has been in a wreck. So I jump out with my towel and answer the phone. It's a telemarketer. Yep.
I get dressed and decide that I am NOT going to sit down, I am going to shampoo the rug. I have a puppy who still has accidents. His favorite place is in the hallway. So I decide to take care of it today. As I am shampooing, I feel very very weak and end up leaning against the wall to finish. I also clean a 6' section of the living room before I run out of clean water. I stop, drink a big glass of chocolate milk, and sit down. That's the end of my productivity for the day.
Luke is by this time almost home, when he lets me know he is chosing NOT to come hom. Instead, he is going to go to WORK! Yep, he's been gone for 7 weeks for school. I have seen him during 5 weekends during that time. So it's not as bad as it could have been. But still. Really? Beyond that, there is a SLOUGH of bad wrecks all over the parrish. So he already knows he would have a hard time gettign home.
Brandon shows up to get his dog, who has been a terrible pain in my ass all weekend. We sit and visit for almost 2 hours. At this point, my kids should have been home. They normally get home around 3:30. The finally show up at 4:30. They spent an hour and a half on the bus. Awesome. By that time, I had tried calling the transportation department and the school twice with no answer. So happy about that. Brandon leaves with his dog, my carpet shampooer, and my vacuum. he is moving out of his apartment this weekend and has to clean it.
Now Luke is telling me crap about work that isn't really good news. The phone won't stop ringing. Brandon is calling me to whine about the traffic he is stuck in. Luke is texting me complaints about work and his intended route home, which I know from the info I have been given, will not work any better than any other. It's 5:45 and I have nothing taken out for supper, no extra money for supper out, and no patience to cook anything anyway.
The kids are fighting and wrestling and screaming and whining and tattling and throwing toys. I don't have the attitude left to deal with them. This is my blog and I can bitch if I want to. I don't have anyone else to complain to! I have had nothing to eat today. I need to go grocery shopping. My gut hurts all the time with waves of overwhelming nausea in between. I need a break. i need a break from these kids, from being broke all the time, from the stupid crap that seems to happen all the time, from selfish people who swirl all around me. Seriously? I know I am not the most selfless person in the world. But sometimes it just gets to be too much. I am over it. I am shutting down the emotional bank of rachael. So if you want/need something from me in the near future, TOUGH CRAP!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled cheerful crafty rachael.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
CTMH stamps and ink, AC green alphas and ribbon, MLS sticker alphas, GCD pp, CI black die cut paper, BG pink paper, green smooch paint.
Cosmo Cricket boyfriend paper, CI die cut black paper, Maya road chip girl (cut out of paper and the negative image used as a mask)and acrylic wings, Glimmer Mist, MLS alpha stickers, MM rubon alphas, prima flowers and pearl, AC black ribbon, MME skull, white ribbon from packaging!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
And as a small aside, yes those were Mardi Gras beads! We had just come back from a parade, I off loaded those from my neck, and got to work! I probably have 20 pounds or better of beads between the 2 parades we went to. So much fun!
Time to fix supper for the midgets. Its chunky raining outside (rain snow mix) and I just found out today that all my pain and suffering is from an ulcer. I am starving but afraid to eat because the pain is worse when I do! So wish me luck! I found quite a bit of fabulousness this weekend in Houston with Arcalee so I am hoping to feel up to crafting soon!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Here is a sample I did, using a single, double, then quad towel. (Just so you know, my sofa is actually the color of the third! That's what happens when you buy a dry clean only sofa and move to the country with 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a little boy! Yep, it's embarassing!)
This is double thickness of paper towel:
This is quad thickness of paper towel:
See how much difference there is? Now depending on your photo and light conditions, you can adjust this very quickly. If you are doing a portrait shoot, you can easily do this before hand. If you are jus taking snapshots, take one, then adjust. everywhere you go, you can find toilet paper or a napkin! Hope you try this out! So easy!
Now the part you really want... the goodies, right? I am just starting out with an Etsy store. Right now, I am really into making scarflettes and cowels. So why not give one away. But it will be custom, just for you! So check out my shop and let me know which strikes your fancy! If you are the lucky winner, I will get with you about the particulars. Check it out here.
And from here, you are running to Jennifer Priest!
If you get off track along the way or are starting at my blog, here is the complete list of the blogs you need to make it to. In order to be entered for the TES RAK, you MUST leave a comment on all the blogs.
1. The Everyday Scrapper www.theeverydayscrapper.com/?p=2828 (if this doesn't work, just go to www.theeverydayscrapper.com and scroll through the recent posts!)
2. Catherine www.dance-the-tide.blogspot.com
3. Anneliese www.queen-of-the-crop.blogspot.com
4. Jewels www.joy-n-jesus.blogspot.com
5. Karen www.countrygirl-karen.blogspot.com
6. Jennifer L www.jenniferlongenecker.blogspot.com
7. Mia www.makepositivechanges.blogspot.com
8. Rachael www.rachaelwoodphotography.blogspot.com
9. Jennifer P www.hydrangeahippo.blogspot.com
10. Sharon www.sharonbertolino.blogspot.com
11. Ana www.anazelia-myscrapbookaddiction.blogspot.com
Thanks for stopping by! I will be announcing a winner Next Tuesday (the 23rd), so be sure to check back in!
#2, It will give me a bit of freedom to try new things. If I can make a few bucks, it will allow me to buy more! And that way I won't have to feel so bad for asking Luke for MORE craft money! It will be nice to be able to say that I make a little bit of money of my own to buy what I like.
So for right now, I don't have a ton of stuff up, several of the things I had made I ended up giving away as gifts to people who admired things of mine. Sucker! But I really do love being able to do that! And one necklace I am keeping for myself! Cause I just love it!
If you want something, let me know and i will do my best to make it. Otherwise, go look! Tell me what you think! I tried to keep my prices as low as possible. Considering an average scarf takes me 6 or 7 hours and the yarn is $8-$10 per scarf, less than $20 is CHEAP! Thanks so much for all of your support! Love you all!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Thanks for dropping by my little blog! I love sharing my craft with you all and finding new scrappy friends all over the web!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
And last but not least, this rad card! Sassafras Me Likey paper, some felt flowers cut on a regular die cut machine, thickers, a graph paper notecard, and bazzil swiss dot paper. LOVE it! It's my favorite project of the crop.
So there are a few projects, not everything! I am working on some stuff now, so I will post more next week! I love you Carolyn! And if you are reading this, please go vote for me at purple cows
Sunday, January 24, 2010